Bishop Mathes from Lambeth: How Not To Dialogue.

Bishop Mathes has always fancied himself the "bridge builder" and jedi master of dialogue.  Those of us who have seen him at his worst and/or are currently being sued for our church properties know that concepts like "dialogue," "mediation," and "negotiation" are really not his strong suite.

Nevertheless, the image needs to be maintained.  At all costs, if necessary.  That is why Bishop Mathes took the only thing like true indaba he'll ever have between himself and Archbishop Venables (the most interesting bishop in the world, but I'll come back to that later) and totally bogartted it.

So, let's learn from our mistakes, shall we?  Here's how not to do dialogue (with a spouse, colleague, friend, partner, "enemy" bishop, anyone), step-by-step:

• (Step 1) Make a good start on real healing with some awkward but polite, one-on-one conversation touching on real issues.  Perhaps over breakfast (Bold mine).

Over breakfast, Gregory Venables, Presiding Bishop of the Church of the Southern Cone, apologized for not contacting me before making incursions into the Diocese of San Diego....

• (Step 2) Before you've finished swallowing the last of your breakfast coffee, immediately issue a press release letter on your website and publish a video publicising the details of that initial conversation.  Important: do it in such a way that ordinary folks and established sources all over the internet will be led to believe that your side has achieved WAY more than it really has.  For instance, see how badly Episcopal Life Online gets it wrong:

Bishop James Mathes of San Diego said August 1 that he is heartened by an apology from Archbishop Gregory Venables of the Anglican Province of the Southern Cone, for unwelcome incursions into the Southern California diocese.

• (Step 3)  Sit back, wait less than 24 hours for original party to create counter-publicly by setting the record straight, implicating the unhelpful nature of your original, out-of-line publicity stunt (in a polite way, of course).
  From here:

I met with Bp Mathes as I have met with many people during the conference and during the conversation mentioned that I was sorry I hadn’t taken the trouble to tell him what we were doing and why. 

See also Bishop Greg's comments here and here in a StandFirminFaith.com thread.  For the full picture, see this video interview recorded by AnglicanTV.org where, at around 21 minutes, Archbishop Venables provides his side of the story, clearly struggling to remain within the bounds of what's polite.

For my part, I truly hope the Bishop of the shrinking diocese of San Diego has the privilege of sitting down with the Primate of the rapidly expanding Southern Cone and having a few more man to man conversations. 

It's important that Bishop Mathes get used to the idea that his priests, congregations, if not the properties as well, have left for good and that he will be operating only as a neighboring bishop to, not emperor over, one of God's greatest gifts to contemporary Anglicanism, Archbishop Gregory Venables.

That these two will continue being neighbors is certain.  How neighborly things go is anyone's guess.